


Heaven-sent

by tlakht



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Coda, Episode: s15e20 Carry On Coda, First Kiss, Fix-It, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-21
Updated: 2020-11-21
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:14:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27661177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tlakht/pseuds/tlakht
Summary: Fix-it fic for 15x20. Dean realizes the new Heaven isn't everything he thought it would be.Excerpt:Even the beer – which, let’s face it, tasted pretty much like lukewarm piss in the first place – is getting too bitter to swallow. And always, in the back of his mind, is the knowledge that Cas is here. In Heaven – somewhere. Bobby never told him how to find him and Cas hasn’t shown up in the shotgun seat like Dean halfway expected him to, and… goddamn, but he misses him.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 8
Kudos: 108





	Heaven-sent

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry I haven't responded to the comments on my last fic – I've been emotionally all over the place since the finale aired and haven't gotten around to it yet (but I will!)

For a while, Dean thought he’d be happy here; he really did. It’s a new and improved Heaven, after all. He’s free to do what he wants, what he always enjoyed in life: driving on an endless highway, thrumming his fingers on the wheel to Jimmy Page’s riffs blaring from the speakers. There’s no speed limit, no alcohol limit, no case. Just him and Baby and the open road.

It doesn’t take him long to realize that what he thought was freedom is… claustrophobic. Every road is the same, none of them anywhere closer to or further from a destination than any other. It’s like walking up an escalator going down, at a standstill even as he keeps moving because he never _gets_ anywhere. It wouldn’t make a damn spit of difference if he didn’t move at all.

Even the beer – which, let’s face it, tasted pretty much like lukewarm piss in the first place – is getting too bitter to swallow. And always, in the back of his mind, is the knowledge that Cas is here. In Heaven – somewhere. Bobby never told him how to find him and Cas hasn’t shown up in the shotgun seat like Dean halfway expected him to, and… goddamn, but he misses him. Thinking about him and the way they parted makes Dean heart clench.

And that’s what makes his decision for him. Whatever he’s looking to get out of Heaven, he’s not going to find it on the highway. He leaves Baby on the side of the road (she’s not really Baby anyway, only an illusion, a mirage) and begins walking into the forest that the road winds through. He’s not really sure what he’s doing or where he’s going, only that his heart (or his soul or whatever that thing beating in the chest is these days) thrums faster than it has since he got here, to the beat of a rhythm he can’t hear but that’s pulling him further and further into the forest.

Dean doesn’t know if he walks for hours or days or even weeks; seconds blur into minutes blur into hours in this place. He doesn’t need to eat, doesn’t need to sleep, he just walks and keeps walking. It reminds him of another afterlife, another journey through a forest, only then he knew what he was trying to accomplish. It’s less clear now, but the thumps in his chest still sound the same.

_Cas._

_Cas._

_Cas._

He prays every now and then – if what he does can even be called a prayer, but Cas has always treated it as such. “Cas, got your ears on?” he’ll start with, or even “Cas, you bastard.”

The time when his own confession slips out, it’s “Cas, I hope you can hear me.”

Not even that brings results, however, and he keeps walking – until he arrives at a place that feels familiar. It’s just a stream, sure, but it _looks_ like –

Like the place where he found Cas in Purgatory the first time, apart from the green foliage on the surrounding trees.

 _It’s just a coincidence_ , he tries to convince himself if only to avoid setting himself up for disappointment, but he still has to look around to see if he can spot movement anywhere, because who knows how the hell Jack designed this place and what’s a coincidence and what’s not.

 _Cas helped_ , Bobby’s voice echoes in his mind.

There’s nothing particularly unique about the stream; there are probably thousands of streams that look similar to the one in Purgatory, but… something about this place feels different. There’s no sign of Cas, but the feeling behind his sternum like someone pulling him in a steady direction has disappeared.

He closes his eyes and prays, again. Not to Cas this time.

“Hey. Kid.” Maybe not the greatest start, but Dean thinks he can be forgiven. He’s family, after all. “Jack or… God, or whatever I should call you these days. I don’t know if you’re around anymore, except in… I don’t know, everything. I don’t know if you’re – if you’re you anymore, but if you are, then I could really use some guidance. I don’t know how to do this Heaven stuff, and I just – I need to find Cas, all right? I need to see him again.”

He doesn’t open his eyes right away, afraid of being met yet again with the sight of an empty forest. When he finally does, however, Jack is – not there, exactly. Not in the way Dean’s there, as close to physical as it’s possible to claim someone can be in Heaven. It’s more like… he’s been there all along, and Dean just didn’t see the shape of him in the trees, in the air, in the grass until now.

Dean doesn’t know how, but he sees Jack do his little wave, hears him in his mind.

 _Follow me_.

“What, hey –” Dean says as Jack begins walking, somehow, further downstream. “Where are we going?”

Jack doesn’t answer, and maybe it’s part of the whole _ineffable_ thing, so Dean shuts up and follows. He asked for guidance, and chances are that’s exactly what he’s being offered.

He’s too caught up in paying attention to the multitudes of Jack leading the way, like looking through a divine kaleidoscope, to see the structure in front of him. It is only once his vision returns to normal, Jack no more to be seen, that he sees what’s left behind. The forest – and a cabin, big enough for maybe one or two people to live there.

There’s no darkness behind the windows, nor is there anything covering them up or shrouding them, yet Dean still can’t see through them.

The thrumming in his chest continues as he raises his hand to knock on the door, but he’s not nervous. This place feels right, more than anything else has in this plane of existence.

The sound of the knocking is loud in the otherwise peaceful forest where the only other sound is that of birds singing. The quiet makes it easier to hear the scrape of a chair inside, the slight creak of footsteps over wooden flooring. For each step Dean hears, the feeling of _right_ becomes stronger.

Dean knows, before the door opens. It’s still good to see him, though – to see him greet Dean with a warm smile on his face.

“Hello, Dean.” The familiar words make Dean want to laugh and cry and wrap his arms around him. He does none of those things, however, because Cas continues, “So soon?”

And Dean wants to ask what he means, but he realizes when he sees the sadness that tinges the edges of Cas’s smile. “You… didn’t know I died? Didn’t you hear my prayers?”

Cas shakes his head. “I don’t have my grace anymore. Jack removed it to free me from the Empty.”

“But… Bobby said you helped Jack with the, uh. Heaven refurbishing.”

“Only in an advisory capacity.”

Dean doesn’t know how to begin to unpack everything that’s happened, how to begin the conversation that needs to happen. He only knows that Cas never heard the prayer where he said the words back, and maybe that’s the reason his mouth takes over and makes the decision for him.

“I love you.”

Cas’s eyes widen, but he doesn’t speak. He’s waiting, maybe, to see what Dean means by that. And Dean’s never been good at this, but now, here… he finds that the words come easy once he starts saying them.

“I never got the chance to say it back, but I’m saying it now, ‘cause you deserve to hear it. I don’t know how long I’ve been in love with you, Cas, but I know it’s been a long time. I should’ve said it years ago, while we were both alive, but… I’m here now if you want me. Forever, so…” Dean drags a hand over the back of his neck and shifts his weight from one foot to the other. He’s still not nervous; not really. It’s just habits following him from one world to the next. If he’s honest, saying the truth out loud for the first time feels good – especially when Cas looks at him with wonder in his eyes.

That wonder is joined by humor while Dean watches, and a smile spreads Cas’s lips. “An eternity with you, Dean?” His shoulders lift in an exaggerated shrug. “Well, I don’t know…”

Dean laughs and pushes gently at Cas’s shoulder until he takes a step back and lets Dean follow him inside his cabin. It’s warm and cozy, and it feels like Cas – but it also feels like the kind of place where Dean could see himself settling down.

“This is nice. Do you think you have room for one more person here?”

Cas’s teasing mood disappears and leaves behind a softness in his eyes. He reaches out to cradle Dean’s jaw, all tenderness and awe in the movement, and Dean finds himself leaning in – they both are – until they meet in the middle in a kiss. They may not be alive, but with Cas’s lips on his? Dean can’t really tell the difference anyway.

“For you, Dean?” Cas pulls away only to reach for Dean’s hands and tug him further inside – maybe to the double bed in the corner, or maybe just into the comfort of his new home. “Always.”

**Author's Note:**

> I'm [tlakht](https://tlakhtwritesdestiel.tumblr.com/) on Tumblr, where I sometimes post ficlets that I don't post on AO3.


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